IF ONLY I WERE A HEDGEHOG!

I know if I were asked what I'd like to be in my next life, it would have to be something with a very thick, soft and warm, fur coat! After 50 years of withstanding two thirds of the year waiting for the third third to arrive I wonder whether or not I will ever find my way out of the grey skied discomforts of a typical English winter.
For the two decades I could simply blame my parents! Why, after all, did I have to be born and reared within earshot of the A12, highway to Peter Pans Playground on the Costa Southend on Sea? ..Actually, being a tad more romantic and may I add, exciting- I was actually born within the Sound of the Bow Bells making me an 'authentic Cockney' but my school days were spent within bus journeys of the less than cellubrious landscape of Ilford and environs, which at some stage of the 60's became the borough of Redbridge. It wouldn't of course mattered much if it were Bromley, Barnet or any other London borough, the facts are that from early October until mid April or later the days are too cold, too damp, too windy and too damn miserable for little ol me. One can only imagine that had I had been a child of the Cotswolds, the Malverns or wherever else the skies are large and open, the landscapes wide and undulating, then perhaps I'd have found the joy and excitement of the severe frost, the theatre of the dramatic skies and the glory of the unclutteredness of winter rural vistas.
My own outlook from the semi in suburbia tends to be of residential roofs, sky aerials, littered pavements and wearily clad, overweight and grey people wishing that they were somewhere else too!
At risk of perishing of utter frost-bite or at the very least mildewish misery I've positively given up worrying about appearances, preferring the somewhat cumbersome, layered look. Oh my mum would have been so very pleased with me. Even up to the time I was sending my own kids off to secondary school, she was ringing to tell me it was cold outside and that I should wear an extra layer and a Hat!!! Nowadays the genuine woolen Peruvian hat, courtesy of my lovely friend Lindsey whose travels ensured that I am suitably hatted, grace my mop of grey. Then there's the obligatory, M & S thermals (long sleeve of course!), the roll neck sweater with at least the little tie up boloro. Rarely will I not wear a neck scarf but always will I wear a nice chunky outdoor one which will be wound around my face leaving just about enough room for my vision not to be too impaired and then there are the gloves. I realised that on the even colder days, one pair are simply not effective so I have begun to go for the thinner layer covered by the looser chunkier layer! A fine look as you can only imagine! Coming now to the outer layers which normally consist of the gilet on top of which I manage to squeeze on the long sleeve, high necked puffer anorak. All this in preparation to get hastily into my car and shiver until the heater finally thaws my feet which have the tendency to freeze within moments of touching the great outdoors!
How did all this ridiculous thought process begin?? Yes you may well be asking! However, despite the fact that I wouldn't like to be any more prickly than I already am inclined to be in such conditions, I can only imagine that being a little hibernating hedgehog right now would be oh so cosy!! Off to get dressed now.....for bed!!! :-) zzzzzzzzzzzzzz