BARKING MAD!

At last I'm suffering from empty nest syndrome :-)! After more than 20 years of picking up clothes, towels, emptying rotten goodness knows what from smelly gym bags, nagging, begging, chauffering, paying out, feeding and forever fretting...the house is child free...We can watch something other than Friends, the computer is ours to hog, the biscuits are ours to nibble and the fridge generally has in it what we placed there a few hours earlier. There is time to read, paint, strum or browse and meals can be whisked up in minutes given that we're hungry! We can go out, come back and hide for hours without babysitters or checking in with our offspring, so why, oh why would we even consider the possibility of taking in a pooch..Indeed it is a question that requires a level of thought that only a physcologist may unravel. Having never housed a four legged friend (unless Monty the guinea pig is to be counted...) and the gerbils who never really made an emotional impact upon any of us (kids included) we find ourselves thinking that there is sometimes a void...sometimes! We need to get out to walk and yet despite our best intentions, the excuses of why we don't have time or the inclination give us reasons not to bother. We have watched our neighbours nurture and love their labrador from puppy to his autumn years where he now walks with the pain and speed that his arthritis will allow but between the years from pup to papa he has been a wonderfully rewarding and affectionate companion. So maybe we are thinking that a companion would be fun and rewarding. So we've begun doing a little research and rapidly realise that theres so much more to this selection process than we might have imagined even if we rule out the cost involved. My wish list would have to include...a dog who...didn't molt, bite, yap, growl, have bad breath, fussy eater, could cope without company for a couple of hours at a time and wouldn't yank my arms out when taking it for a walk. I'd prefer one who looked appealing, not too small but then again not too large, who didn't have a history of schizo behaviour, liked children and animals and was obedient. Preferably he should have a clean bill of health, come from a good gene pool, not whimper or have travel sickness, understands me and doesn't mind sleeping alone in his own basket. I've yet to look into the costs of weekly food, insurance and kennels should we want to go away and am barely able to imagine to distress if we lose him (not because we're careless but because of a health problem..- i haven't got one yet (a dog I mean) and I'm almost in tears imagining this scenario!)... We gave Monty the Guinea pig a home for less than two years...He was an overweight and not terribly friendly G.p yet its probably 8 years since he passed away and we still miss him dearly.
A dog? can we really be thinking about this now? Are we crazy? ...watch this space........

MY NEW MAN!

I've not been on the hunt for a new one of late, (man that is!) but thanks to the enthusiasm and spirit of El (my daughter!)...i was encouraged, with some not too gentle encouragement into putting on my waterproof togs, my ol' gardening boots and my genuinely Peruvian bonnet in order to make me a new sturdy man...I am of course referring to the one made of snow who sits somewhat wonkily, lilting just a tad from the heat of the day- as opposed to the sub zero temperatures of yesterday! Unless you are reading this from afar, very afar, you will understand the ecstasy and agony that we all seemed to enjoy or suffer these past 48 hours because of a full on fall of pukka snowflakes which rarely land and settle since the onslaught of 'global warming' effects. Yet for a while at least, our streets, cars and houses gave us the brightest eyeful many of us have experienced in many months. Our children were allowed out, clad in their wellies and warmest coats, council recycling boxes and their lids making temporary sledges, reminiscent of our childhoods seemingly some decades back. For once the roads were eerily still, no buses, no trains and oddly, very oddly little urban noise. For the shops that opened there were few, other than those selling outdoor wear, soup or DVD's that were actually busy yet there seemed no doubt that despite the lack of tills ringing there was an out of normal positive energy that brought smiles and open faces to the fore... Being English and unused to temperatures or conditions that justify waterproofs, thermals or winter tyres for our vehicles being part of our routine stock we were brought to a standstill.. Breakfast tv bringing instant news to thousands of youngsters waiting to hear that their Head Teachers had publicly announced that school would be closed giving the kids a bonus holiday and the parents even more stress wondering how to reschedule their already over scheduled Monday. There can be few who would deny that from the warmth of our homes the blanket covered roofs and roads looked utterly magical. Our gardens came alive as the grey and damp conditions of our bleak back yards and empty flower beds were plumped up in white, fluffy and glistening flakes.
It has been years since I've made a snowman and I have to admit, the thought of going out into the garden wasn't initially attractive yet once i'd put on my waterproof gloves (kitchen marigolds came in handy!!) ...and wrapped myself up appropriately the joy of being out of doors and having some fun...good clean and wholesome fun was indeed totally uplifting. Our snowman didn't actually get a hat or a pipe. No carrot for a nose and no shiny buttons but he looked affable, substantial and not entirely unlike the fella i have indoors... who incidentally looks as if he might just keel over too with the weight of this long and otherwise dreary winter.

CRUMPLED CONSIDERATIONS

My neck looks crumpled...and being honest so does my face. Being kind to myself its only minutes after rising and its probably unfair to be so harsh on myself before I've even absorbed my first rush of caffeine however there are some significant changes occuring. There can be few of us who get beyond our late 40's who don't start noticing how the skin doesn't seem properly attached to the bits it should be attached to. Being of fairly slight frame and build I probably have far less to complain about than many whose backsides, bellies and batwings are all sagging somewhat helplessly. Then there are those who have genuinely suffered year on year by enduring long leisurely holidays in sun kissed climes and maybe were so relaxed, simply failed to reach out for the COMPLETE SUN BLOCK cream actually quietly or even blatantly proud of their tanned look against their summer whites. But the years have a habit of showing themselves, and the crevices we used to refer to as 'character lines' and 'laughter lines' are of course...WRINKLES and reminders of time passing and our skin failing to keep up with the youthfulness of our minds. I would only join the tedium of women and media journalists who add to your worries by going on further yet I for one haven't ever considered skin enhancing treatments or expensive procedures. Even pots of creams designed to reduce wrinkles are seriously off limits if the cost is anything more than a reasonably priced bottle of wine. All that packing and perfume, marketing and media hype has never (that I can recall) got me parting with my pennies. Am I so mean? good point but more that I firmly believe (ha ha, laughing at my own pun there) that good skin is as a result of good genes, not smoking, being hydrated and well nourished and staying out of the sun. In my case never having smoked and never been fortunate enough to see more than a modicum of sun i'm half way there, thus here at the bottom rung of my 50's I'm not totally unhappy with my lot...Fortunately, the eyes start deteriorating at the same stage and from my bleary perspective, apart from appearing a little crumpled at this early stage of the morning, i'll pass the 'i'm okay test' for today -at least!

HYACINTH BOUQUET

On this occassion I speak of the genuinely wonderful smell of the hyacinths that are currently infusing the house as opposed to the Mrs H Bouquet from the comedy series of yesteryear..
Whilst today wasn't my birthday, anniversary or even Christmas (that was last month-Christmas I mean!)... today was a celebratory one and was generously marked by the several gifts that I received on my return to work coffee morning. Whilst I wasn't actually returning to work, though plan to by the early spring, and though it was also a tea, decaff and herbal drink morning too, it was an opportunity to meet up with my Thursday girls in my Thursday Hall in the soon to be seasonal leafy N.London.( yes, yes...i'm talking about THE ARRIVAL OF SPRING!) At least the sun was out, albeit weakly, and to my great surprise the girls, (yes, I insist that they are all girls ranging from 51- 80's) turned up in full force...And, ( I know I should never begin sentences with an AND) as I began, several armed with floral gifts which I have to say was an unexpected treat! Just seeing them walk in, enjoying the meet n greet kisses, hugs and updates it was hard to believe that we are merely a weekly fitness group and for some of them, they may have known me over a relatively short period of time. Since I've been an exercise instructor for almost 30 years (whoops...that is so ooo ageing!) it isn't surprising that many of my clients have been, come, gone and returned at various stages of their lives and even I find myself somewhat shocked when Clients remind me that they've been on my register for decades and longer.. Is it my motivational advice, the range of movements or the professional way in which I hope to run my sessions? No, for the mostpart I'm convinced its the social mix, the upbeat environment that eminates from the warmth of the group as a whole and perhaps, almost certainly, its the weekly diatribes and free form updates on the W. household and my own life in general that takes on a 'bloggish' like interest and connects us all together. That isn't to suggest that my W household are any more interesting or exciting than any other local family of course but perhaps there is an element of -whatever will be next in the on going life of ?!! :-)
Could I ever have imagined that I would be so fortunate as to find myself in a career path which offered me so much even if the income bracket wouldn't reach the bottom rung of most 20 year olds ladders? In truth the benefits have been so many and so uplifting (and I promised myself not to mention any breast related thoughts in todays blog!) ......that its difficult to consider how much money I may have made in a sales or marketing post which could have been a more obvious alternative route. But, best I don't give it any further thought- since for almost thirty years the 'girls' have probably taught me much more than I could ever teach them, have shared their joys and their stresses, have thanked me and hugged me, lifted my spirits, given me a wonderful reason to get up and go to work and propelled me into middle age with a skip in my step and a fine raison d'etre. Thus I never needed or expected flowers or gifts to underpin all these feelings that eminated from our get together. Once again I'd simply like to thank you, all of you, even those who couldn't join me today in supporting me through this difficult patch... and I am absolutely thrilled that it looks likely that i'll be back on them boards, strutting my stuff and warbling on within a few short weeks! :-)

JANUARY JOTTINGS

Despite the fact that this has been the greyest, gloomiest and coldest January that I can remember, probably because I can't remember anything much these days, it seems to me that January has got longer, far longer than it should be. Now I know that February may arrive and finish all within a few days since for a reason that I have never understood, February is given such short shrift, but why oh why was January given so many days...Then again if I were in Australia maybe I'd be delighted that the summer days would seem to go on and on...yet here, even when i turn the pages of my diary (I still have an old fashioned desk one...almost a tell tale sign of my age!) its still reads January even though the New Year parties seemed seasons ago!..... Its the month in which New Years Resolutions are broken, fitness regimens started until the thought of going out in the cold is enough to make you stop in and watch another replay of Scrubs (something I've yet to get into). Now that son no.1 (as opposed to daughter no.1) is in Singapore I was pleased to be reminded that the Chinese New Year has only just taken place (year of the Ox I believe!)...and for them at least, the first month of the year is wonderfully short and they can almost leap into Spring without getting bogged down by the damp n drearyness of these difficult days. Do I sound depressed? Perhaps I am a SAD sufferer, (seasonal affective disorder) and even if I am, my mood often inextricably linked with the colour of the skies, it would take a lot of energy, both mentally and physically to change my living situation and find myself somewhere altogether more condusive to my well-being. There are such things as light boxes, designed to offer up the type of light rays that should boost ones mood...Sceptical me wonders if they really are worth the £80+ however I'm beginning to wonder why London has me so rooted to the spot... Perhaps, maybe airing this mental project even in my blog today could be the first step along the path of finding bluer skies.. All credit to my aunt, who after 81 years of being in Stepney,E1 has sold up and moved to Marbeilla.. Gotta strange feeling tho that she missing a few of our Grey Days!!! :-)

I POD UPOD HE PODS SHE PODS

TO POD...is it yet officially a doing word? I'm forever doing with my pod, ipod! If it makes me look cool, then -so be it! Of course I'm not rapping away, swept up by Indie or even acoustic sounds..no, I am more commonly sitting or lying and listening to the beginning, and I stress -beginning- of another wonderful Radio 4 podcast. From Thinking Allowed to Womans Hour and of course a few specials from BBC World Service too, I'm fully switched on and tuned in whenever I have the time ...The trouble, and there always is-trouble i mean, that the melodic and ear tickling voices of the presenters have the mesmerising effect of lulling me into reverie faster than any other means thus I rarely hear more than the first 15 minutes of any podcast. Is that a real problem i hear you think!? Well only that the programme plays on even though I miss it and when I reboot it to try to hear it again, I have to start it from the very beginning thus the likelihood is that the pattern of hearing only the beginning is repeated. Interestingly whilst I wouldn't say that getting to sleep is a major issue for me, like most women of a 'certain age n stage' my head is always full of to do lists, what I haven't done lists and what I should do if I could do lists. Curiously of all the podcasts the most heavenly and quickest way to wipe out the issues of the day, week or month is SCOTLAND OUTDOORS OR RAMBLINGS with Clare Balding. Having one or two good friends who are Scottish I shall reserve my comments of irritation when listening to certain harsh Highland accents (yes, i realise, I 've done it now!) ...but then there are the gentle and most attractive accents which bring a sort of poetry to the ear. That combined with the sound of squelching upon a muddy bankside or the rustling of leaves as the commentator makes his way leisurely through a copse and describes the walk and countryside views with vivacity and geeky historic nouse and natural history or horticultural enthusiasm makes my mental journey so completely joyous and relaxing. It takes me back to my primary years when i'd have a day or two off school with a 'sickie'. In those days a dose of influenza or tonsillitus was a few days in bed, being served hot n creamy tinned tomatoe soup, ambrosia creamed rice and most important of all, I was allowed to have the oddly green/grey cased BUSH radio up by my bedside. I'd agitate the dial until I fell upon voices speaking about subjects most of which was academically 'over my head' yet it would be their voices, their accents and their use of words which would draw me in. I doubt if I had ever really worked out why I enjoyed such programmes but perhaps it was the musicality in their pronounciation or simply their obvious knoweledge and enthusiasm for their subjects. All this new technology has made access to such a wide range of worldly topics available to us all in many various ways but unhesitantly I have rapidly become a super-fan of my silver, sleek,slender and seductive ipod!

WHEN TWO BREASTS ARE BETTER THAN ONE!

My husband P would be the first to remark that I frequently mix my metaphors but on this occassion I can only confirm that living with one breast is one more/less thing to think about! To be fair to the one that is remaining, now takes pride of place and whilst it has never begged for attention in its previous life, it is now considered the centre piece....Weird to put my little 32B or maybe even my 34 AA side into such a context but to all intense and purposes, my left breast now holds the title of 'genuine and established'... To my right, the shape is......errr.....interesting! Yes its fairly interesting, original, somewhat like an eye patch shape but not over the eye and frankly, still pretty numb...understatement- it is NUMB!!! then there's the back...where once sat my latismus dorsi (no, i'm not being flash with terms...but it was my Lat muscle) it's now....sat upon the site of my no longer left breast...Weird that when I cough, my right breast mound reacts like my back might have done...In fact, I realise that my new party piece could be that I can make my New Right Breast Muscle twitch by moving my shoulder blades...All fascinating and of great interest to the masses i'm sure... (not)...
Today though was an opportunity to put the Lingerie stores of Brent X to the test...Today was the turn of John Lewis and Fenwick...I'm not going to be sensitive here and call them store A and B or by any other name... Let's get frank. today was their chance to convince me that I need them and that they can be a part of my future! This does of course sound utterly ridiculous to the 98% of women and probably 100% of men who may attempt to read on but with my genuinely synthetic and most ingeniously manufactured prosthesis in place I confidently requested their assistance to find new and appropriate underwear... My washing line never did suggest that I was an Anne Summers lace and less type of girl but with a wholesome bust of never more than a B cup (okay, an A .aa!!!....) my lingerie was always fairly tame and at best, padded n pink! First of all, I must extend full marks to Fenwick..actually to young Eunice. From the off she was ready to measure, listen, look and find. She understood, selected appropriate stock from which to consider, stayed with me, helped me in and out of each style and gave me time. She smiled, talked and never made me feel odd...Thank You Eunice. I am now the happy owner of 2 new bras, one black one white and neither of them specifically post surgery models yet both of them soft, comfortable and suitable! Then as if that wasn't enough for one day, I just had to give John Lewis a chance...Well not him specifically you understand but Cecilly in Lingerie... Two post surgery styles were shown to me (they have pockets for the prosthesis) have high sides, wider back straps and altogether more supportive. She took time to fit me, assist me and when I was ready to buy, to steer me to the desk and take my money. In fact I happily took her advice to buy a silk vest top which is already on and is preventing my sweater from irritating my skin which has been understandably sensitive since the op. It was quite a morning, but I'm happy, almost delighted to report that what could have been quite a trauma was a successful trip. My faith in sales staff restored (normally can't wait to say something derogatory) and weird tho it may seem, I gave them both a hug and left them feeling that they had made my day. For the time being at least....thanks Girls!